I'm sitting in my kitchen, looking at the mountains of dishes and utensils and appliances that I need to pack, and I'm almost in tears. My kitchen is the heart of my home, so it's especially difficult for me to pack up all of these things that I love and use so much. Moving for fifth time in the last year, I have to say that I'm tired. I'm tired of boxes and tape, movers and u-hauls. I'm tired of throwing things away and taking my space apart, yet again. Fortunately, I've realized over the last two days, that my body is my home. In committing to my daily practice, I've committed to spending time in my body, taking care of it. In return, it takes care of me. In class yesterday morning, my body did things I didn't know that I was capable of. After holding my arms outstretched for quite a while, I opened my eyes expecting to see my lanky limbs sagging by my sides, but there they were, holding strong and in line with my shoulders, almost buoyant. This evening, after a day in the apartment, attempting to pack, I was at loose ends and I almost didn't go to class in favor of filling more boxes. Something inside me began to panic at the prospect of being inside all night and I quickly changed clothes and darted out the door. My restorative practice tonight left me grounded, energized and, again, joyful and thankful for the opportunity to spend time on my mat each day.
This is why I entered into this extended practice: to have this time for me, to remind myself to spend time in my 'house,' to keep things in order. There are highs and lows, but there is always balance, home base, om - to come back to. At the heart of my yoga is... me. My routine is a shelter from life's ups and downs - there is a strength and confidence that comes from knowing that no matter what happens, you have a place to come home to, a place that is never far away. The hard part is sometimes tuning out the distractions and listening to that wisdom that is already within us.
In the midst of so much upheaval and commotion in my everyday life, I love that yoga allows me to tap into my inner joy, to be so self-reliant, to take care of my self. There really is no place like h(om)e, and having that to come back to is really an amazing thing to build for yourself.
*more zinger titles coming soon!