The Future Ain't What It Used to Be

As per my social networking today, I'm picking up on a trend away from setting resolutions. I mean, I doubt that anyone I know actually wakes up on the first of January and heads to the gym, but I did see quite a few "I'm just going to keep on L-I-V-I-N"-esque declarations on the old FB. Interestingly, as I sat drinking champagne with friends last night, we started talking about the things that we wanted from this year: 10k in a savings account. A week in Sayulita. A fully stocked bar. BASE jumping. More dancing. More travel. More cashmere. More Frye boots (that was me). Love. Paid off student loans. A house. Adventure.

We kept some things loose, and got really specific with others, but the thing that struck me the most was that no one wanted to lose weight. No one said "make more money." We all just want experiences, or things that allow us to experience life in a way that makes us feel good. Some were tangible, some conceptual, but at the bottom of our white board, we wrote: "CHOOSE TO BE EPIC." And we all signed it, like a conspiratorial contract for the coming year. "This is gonna be good." We stood back and admired our plans.

In keeping with the group thinking on this one, I'm not making any resolutions, per se, but I am setting some goals of a different sort. Over the last several months, I've started a practice of making plans that support how I want to feel. A big theme for me is freedom (in the truest Sagittarian gypsy sense of the word), and what that means for me is a wealth of resources - creative, financial, professional, personal - and I want to feel as though my energy isn't hindered in those areas. I want to feel as though there's always more - to give, to get, for me, for the ones that I love. So while putting 10k in a savings account might sound like I want more money - what I'm really after is freedom. Knowing that I can take a vacation, buy a new bike, cover an unexpected medical expense or fix my car without worrying about where the money is going to come from or maxing out my credit card gives me more to work with in the day to day, more space in my head and heart to accommodate my own ups and downs as well as those of the people I care about. 

Thinking about it this morning, I know that achieving this freedom is going to come down to the choices I make every day. I was ready to kick 2013 in the butt on its way out, but when I sat down to take inventory of everything that had happened over the last 12 months, I was actually shocked to see that it was a pretty damn awesome year. How did I miss this as it was happening? I started off 2013 with my best friends, in a new job, making more money than I had since I quit tending bar after college, with a great house and killer yoga practice and an amazing community. Life was perfect for about 4 months. Then I lost that job, and a week later, my dog died. So I packed up and left Boulder for Montana. I went on a month long road trip around California eating and exploring and camping and ommming with new friends and old ones. Just a couple of weeks after returning to Bozeman, I was offered a dream job. I spent a few months living at home with my folks, more time than I've spent with them in 20 years. I got a new puppy. I bought a new car. I found some pretty incredible new friends. Work started going off. I met more cool people. Even more opportunities do get out and do fun stuff came my way.

When I look back on it, two crappy things happened last year. Granted, they were really REALLY crappy, but it was just two - in the span of one week, 8 months ago. And things got better fast - not easier, better - but I had already chosen to focus on the loss and I missed a lot of the new. That choice kept me out of some pretty incredible moments. That choice set the tone for a year that wasn't even half over.

This is the year I don't make that mistake. This is the year that I actively participate in the manifestation of my own happiness. This is the year that I see the good for what it is, and the bad as a lesson to be learned. This is the year that I keep moving forward, that I face my fears, that I crush it at work, that I travel, and save, and play, and enjoy, and love. And  NOTICE when I'm doing it. This is the year that I choose epic, so bring it on 2014.

I. Am. Ready.


Also: I will stop saying "totes".