I'll open with telling you that this will be my last post on Chasing Arrows. I moved all of my content under this header a few months ago with the intention of creating a life that I love, and I've done that. So I think that it's time for a new direction and some re-branding. Two years ago, I walked away from a career that I had invested the better part of 7 years in and I had no clue what I was going to do with myself. I came back to Boulder because I'd always felt at home here, and I knew there must be something for me in this magical little town. I slept in my car, I had crazy roommates, I learned everything I could about yoga, I lived off of less than $8000 the first year I was back. I relied heavily on what friends I still had here to take care of me and almost sacrificed some of those relationships in the process. I took random jobs to pay the bills and I managed to have a decent time, but I kept thinking that there had to be more in the cards for me. I'm a smart girl, I'm a capable writer and I love a challenge, but this was getting ridiculous.
So, after 2 years, I have it. My dream job. My best friends. An amazing community. Everything I've wanted.
I looked at one of my closest friends last night and said, almost in awe of it, "We have it. We have everything that most people dream of. We get to live here, and we have good jobs, and look out the window everyday and see that. We have enough money to enjoy our lives, access to amazing food and people and opportunities and COFFEE. We're the lucky ones. We're doing it." And we both just stood there thinking about it and she looked at me and said, "Yeah. We are. Wow."
So I count my blessings everyday, and thank the people who believed in me and prayed for me and gave me so very many chances to succeed. And I suppose I have to thank myself for being so batshit nuts that I would walk away from a sure thing to pursue something that I couldn't even describe, but was positive would be better than what I had. The emptiness is scary as hell, but it's the only thing that's guaranteed to be full of possibility, and if I hadn't dared to take the risk of having nothing, I'd have never found the life I didn't even know I wanted.
It sucked mostly, make no mistake, but just because you can't see the dream, doesn't mean it's not there waiting for you. Mine was.
Thank you all for being a part of this and reading and commenting and generally supporting me as I figured it out.
Onward and Upward!